He Restores

My heart aches as I replay conversations with friends I have had over the past few days. Life is hard. It has unexpected and almost unbearable moments. There is deep sorrow, agonizing pain, paralyzing fears, and crippling shame. Thankfully a sweet friend reminded me today that it is also SHORT!

In what will feel like no time passed we will be in eternity. A place for those who loved Jesus to be free of the troubles of this world. The pain of this world. The hurt of this world. This disappointment of this world. The hopelessness of this world. We will be in a place of wonder, peace, comfort, love, justice, HOLINESS. The troubles that are so pressing here, the ones that strangle us and choke the life out of us at times, will be no more.

The last year of my life has been chaos. A marriage in shambles and relationships broken, yet God restored. A baby so desperately wanted, to only be held in my hand for moments and then taken away, yet God restores. Anxieties so overwhelming that I couldn't function or breathe, and yet God restores.

Now I am in place of peace.. a place ONLY found in Him. Because I seek Him, because I cling to Him, because I realize how desperate I am for Him. In this place I have been praising Him for all the restoration in my life. Things only He can do!

Who can heal relationships that have shipwrecked? Who can mend hearts crushed by the devastation of losing a child? Who can calm the storms that rage within a person's soul? How are those things explained apart from the miraculous and loving hand of God?

The question I keep asking myself is one that I taught my kids in Sunday school this week. What am I going to do with my second chance(s)? How am I going to live out a life of thankfulness and gratitude? The answer I am finding is that I am going to continue to surrender. I need to surrender my thoughts, my wants, my hopes, my dreams, my fears, my husband, my children, my friendships, my every moment to Christ. To be obedient in the big and the small. To TRUST God by actually trusting God. Not doubting that He is who He has proven Himself to be.

I need to step up my game. I am tired of Satan winning. I am tired of watching families be torn apart. I am tired of watching people I love be tormented by mind games that Satan plays. I am tired of watching Christians be paralyzed by complacency and comfort. I am tired of not being strong enough to make a difference. I am tired of not being who God made me to be because the world drowns out my passion and makes me weary with the hardships of this life.

This world is a blip when put in light of eternity. Too much is at risk for me to be passive anymore. Too much hangs in the balance for me to not take full advantage of my second chance. So I am going to be much more proactive about my faith. I WILL be on my knees - literally my knees - for the families that Satan is trying to pull apart. I WILL be on my knees for the sick in health and the sick in spirit. I WILL pray for those who don't have the strength to pray for themselves. I WILL be in the WORD daily.. because how can I adequately live out THANKS to Him if I don't spend TIME with Him.

AND I WILL NOT BE ASHAMED! Shame will cripple me NO MORE!

He has restored me for a purpose and I want to live out that purpose fully!