rnal conditions (Jeff's school, money problems, sleepless nights, and new baby hormone rage) have all corrected themselves, so I really believe I no longer need to continue with it. Prior to being diagnosed with severe PPD in December, I was never against medications, but thought I was strong enough to never need them. God sure opened my eyes to the intensity of depression and all that comes with it. I had posted previously about acknowledging my depression HERE.Anyway, all this to say that I said farewell to my dear friend "Mr. Happy" about 3 weeks ago; today I'm an angry, jittery, crazy! I am snapping at everyone for everything. I am pretty sure that no one is competent enough to do anything right and that my children might possibly have been put on this earth to annoy me. Don't gasp – I'm only joking (well ½ joking)! I feel like crying, I look at the beautiful little faces of my kids and think – dang, they are irritating little buggers! How can I be so fed up with them when all they do is whine – no wait that's not how I wanted to finish this sentence I meant – love me. :OP.
So just as I was about to reach for my Zoloft bottle today – evil evil thing – I decided to look up the side effects of going off of this blessed drug. You know what!?! I'm not just crazy, I'm also jonesin' for my meds. Turns out that my doctor did not tell me that going off an antidepressant can cause the body to have SERIOUS reactions. Thankfully I am not laid up on the couch with dizziness and vomiting, but I am having an increase in the symptoms that caused me to get on it in the first place – IRRITABILITY and ANGER. Many people who have been on an antidepressant for more than 4 months will go off and after a few days have such intense withdrawal symptoms that they believe they still need the medication and go back on. I just want to feel normal again. The withdrawal effects can last up to 5 weeks, so we are more than halfway there!
When I found out that I had PPD I was the happiest depressed person you had ever seen. I was so relieved to know that I wasn't the terrible person who I had become overnight, but it was a chemical imbalance. Today I feel the same way. I am still terribly irritable and crabby – but soooo relieved that it is not me just being that way for no reason. I am going to see my doctor to talk about ways to curb this Mega Beast attitude. Soon I can go back to being me again. Until then, watch out :P!
☆☆☆UPDATE☆☆☆
Saw the Doc today and.... I'm just crazy! Lord help me! It is not common for someone to be as ANGRY as I am this far off the meds. So back on them I go. Jeff said he doesn't care about being all better he is just happy to know I will be happy again soon. (Don't worry I sucker punched him in the kidney for that remark)! He has actually been super wonderful and deserves a happy wife not a wench!
0 comments:
Post a Comment