This morning I am reading in Matthew again. Lately the red letters in my bible have been speaking to me more than ever before. I had the eyes of my heart opened to the fact that the God of the universe spoke for me to listen, and well I just can't get enough of it.
I'm in chapter 14, John the baptist was beheaded, Jesus just fed 5,000 people and then went up to take time alone to pray. The disciples are out on their boat, in middle of the night in some heavy winds and Jesus heads out on the water to be with them. All stories I've heard at least 100 times. But this morning the read letters spoke to me again.
During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear."
But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."
This part of the passage makes me think of when I seek the face God in need of answers. Sometimes the wait is long and often the timing God uses to move catches me off guard and I am afraid or unsure. I make up excuses for what is happening and doubt that it is God actually coming to move me in the right direction. So I ask for proof.
"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
"Come," he said.
Peter and I have that in common, I want to know without a doubt that God is calling me to something and I want some huge confirmation. A lot of times in my life Jesus simply says, "Come". That's it - nothing fancy. He's basically saying, "You know me and I know you. You know what I'm capable of and you don't need more from me. Take your step out in faith and move in my direction. I placed that desire in your heart, follow it."
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
The number of times I have done this are too many to count. Jesus calls me, and I go and then the world comes at me. My waves and wind are the opinions of others, self doubt, fear, and the question, "was that really God?". What a foolish girl I am at times.
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.
I don't think Peter and I are alone in this. There have been times when I get right in the middle of what I know God has for me and I lose the vision, the passion, or doubt the authority God has given me to carry out his work. The world rushes at me, sometimes other Christians doubt me, or what I am being called to do is so counter cultural it appears strange - and I don't want to be strange. In those moments I panic, maybe not on the outside but the inside for sure - until Jesus reaches out his hand and pulls me back to reality. He brings me back on board with Him.
I'm in chapter 14, John the baptist was beheaded, Jesus just fed 5,000 people and then went up to take time alone to pray. The disciples are out on their boat, in middle of the night in some heavy winds and Jesus heads out on the water to be with them. All stories I've heard at least 100 times. But this morning the read letters spoke to me again.
During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear."
But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."
This part of the passage makes me think of when I seek the face God in need of answers. Sometimes the wait is long and often the timing God uses to move catches me off guard and I am afraid or unsure. I make up excuses for what is happening and doubt that it is God actually coming to move me in the right direction. So I ask for proof.
"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
"Come," he said.
Peter and I have that in common, I want to know without a doubt that God is calling me to something and I want some huge confirmation. A lot of times in my life Jesus simply says, "Come". That's it - nothing fancy. He's basically saying, "You know me and I know you. You know what I'm capable of and you don't need more from me. Take your step out in faith and move in my direction. I placed that desire in your heart, follow it."
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
The number of times I have done this are too many to count. Jesus calls me, and I go and then the world comes at me. My waves and wind are the opinions of others, self doubt, fear, and the question, "was that really God?". What a foolish girl I am at times.
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.
I don't think Peter and I are alone in this. There have been times when I get right in the middle of what I know God has for me and I lose the vision, the passion, or doubt the authority God has given me to carry out his work. The world rushes at me, sometimes other Christians doubt me, or what I am being called to do is so counter cultural it appears strange - and I don't want to be strange. In those moments I panic, maybe not on the outside but the inside for sure - until Jesus reaches out his hand and pulls me back to reality. He brings me back on board with Him.
The reality of His truth is that He often calls me to things that are bigger than me, where I need him. The reality is that He is ALL that matters and when I am walking as I have been called there are going to be some waves. Sometimes it offends others, sometimes it upsets others, and sometimes it inspires others. Regardless of others - my ultimate calling in any circumstance is to be obedient to God and have faith. This is so that when God's plans succeed, and I have weathered the storm, His name is glorified.
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