Heart Melter

Enough Said!

Mega Beast… GRRR!

Ever seen drop dead Fred ;)? If so you've heard the term. Well sadly I must admit I am now the MEGA BEAST! I have been taking Zoloft for my Post Partum Depression for almost 8 months now. My external conditions (Jeff's school, money problems, sleepless nights, and new baby hormone rage) have all corrected themselves, so I really believe I no longer need to continue with it. Prior to being diagnosed with severe PPD in December, I was never against medications, but thought I was strong enough to never need them. God sure opened my eyes to the intensity of depression and all that comes with it. I had posted previously about acknowledging my depression HERE.

Anyway, all this to say that I said farewell to my dear friend "Mr. Happy" about 3 weeks ago; today I'm an angry, jittery, crazy! I am snapping at everyone for everything. I am pretty sure that no one is competent enough to do anything right and that my children might possibly have been put on this earth to annoy me. Don't gasp – I'm only joking (well ½ joking)! I feel like crying, I look at the beautiful little faces of my kids and think – dang, they are irritating little buggers! How can I be so fed up with them when all they do is whine – no wait that's not how I wanted to finish this sentence I meant – love me. :OP.

So just as I was about to reach for my Zoloft bottle today – evil evil thing – I decided to look up the side effects of going off of this blessed drug. You know what!?! I'm not just crazy, I'm also jonesin' for my meds. Turns out that my doctor did not tell me that going off an antidepressant can cause the body to have SERIOUS reactions. Thankfully I am not laid up on the couch with dizziness and vomiting, but I am having an increase in the symptoms that caused me to get on it in the first place – IRRITABILITY and ANGER. Many people who have been on an antidepressant for more than 4 months will go off and after a few days have such intense withdrawal symptoms that they believe they still need the medication and go back on. I just want to feel normal again. The withdrawal effects can last up to 5 weeks, so we are more than halfway there!

When I found out that I had PPD I was the happiest depressed person you had ever seen. I was so relieved to know that I wasn't the terrible person who I had become overnight, but it was a chemical imbalance. Today I feel the same way. I am still terribly irritable and crabby – but soooo relieved that it is not me just being that way for no reason. I am going to see my doctor to talk about ways to curb this Mega Beast attitude. Soon I can go back to being me again. Until then, watch out :P!

☆☆☆UPDATE☆☆☆

Saw the Doc today and.... I'm just crazy! Lord help me! It is not common for someone to be as ANGRY as I am this far off the meds. So back on them I go. Jeff said he doesn't care about being all better he is just happy to know I will be happy again soon. (Don't worry I sucker punched him in the kidney for that remark)! He has actually been super wonderful and deserves a happy wife not a wench!

What Life Needs More Of...

Laughter and Friendship

(Oh to be young again!)

Bath Time

My Family

Marcus-Me-Jayelyn-My Dad-My Mom-Tanya-Nichole-Landon-Robbie-Jacob-Dean

(we were just missing my stud of a man Jeff)

What are you doing?

So true - check it out - short and sweet!

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/angelnavywife/565049/

SURPRISE!

My gorgeous mom turned 50! Can you believe it? So all us girls threw her a surprise party! It was my sister Tanya's idea and since my sister Nichole lives near my parents she made sure the whole thing came together!

It was such a good time! All of our family and neighbors came to celebrate with us. Tanya and Jacob (who I didn't get pictures of with my camera, but will put some up from Mom's camera soon) flew in from Florida and the kids and I from Washington.

My 89 year old Grandpa (lookin' good baby) came too!

Tanya and Jacob left Saturday and the kids and will leave this Sunday. It is so good to be home with the family. We have been relaxing by the pool. We will leave here the whitest people in California and the tannest in Washington ;)

Jeff could not make the trip and Monday was our anniversary. That wonderful husband OF SIX YEARS.. sent me flowers! Yay!

Landon

See this cute baby?

Well he has grown into this cute boy!

Who does things that make me want to take a flip flop (remember that mom?) to his bottom. But I DON'T so don't worry!

I stayed up until 3 am working on an apron order. I am doing my first pretty complicated pattern. So anyway, put all my stuff away and went to bed. That cute face you see above… well he woke up before me (big surprise), got down my apron and….

CUT IT UP!!! Just for that.. I think there is something you need to see…

There, now I feel better!!!
(Ha ha.. I think I've lost my mind!)

As Their Mother…

I have been given a great gift and an even greater duty!

"Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him." Psalm 127:3

I am so thankful for the wonderful gift that my children are, but what is my responsibility to them?

"For I have chosen [you], so that [you] will direct [your] children and [your] household after [you] to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just.." Gen 18:19

How can I best take care of the rewards God has given me?

"Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." Deut 6:5-9

What can I do to ensure that I am equipped to teach them and guide them in the ways of the Lord?

"My heart says of you, 'Seek his face!' Your face, LORD, I will seek." Psalm 27:8

"I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me." Proverbs 8:17